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Mother's Day: A Time for Reflection and Celebration

This is the time of year that we celebrate motherhood, not only the day-to-day life of being a mom, but also the journey itself.  For some, infertility challenges that journey.  Thankfully there are more options than ever for those who want to become a mother. For many, like myself, the solution was adoption.  I am so thankful for the miracle of adoption, but is it right for you?  The following questions may help you find your answer.

Are you emotionally prepared for adoption? As with making any family planning decision, adoption requires a lot of self-reflection. It also requires that you come to terms with any grief you are experiencing resulting from infertility issues. A friend who adopted told me that she decided to adopt because the chances of becoming a parent were much higher than IVF. That’s true, but there are other challenges to consider. Open adoption is now the norm and it is recommended by experts in the field. Consequently, birth parents will become a part of your family in one form or another as they most likely will want to have post-adoption contact.

Can you afford to adopt? Adoption can be expensive. Review your financials so that you know what you can afford. Check with your employer to see if they offer any adoption benefits and check with your CPA to see if you qualify for any adoption credits.

What type of adoption is best for your situation? Foster, international, private, adoption agency? Each has its own unique challenges and benefits so do a lot of homework - read materials, interview agencies, and talk with other families you know who have adopted a child. If you choose agency adoption, be sure to review the contract with an attorney so that you understand the duties and obligations at the outset.

Does race, gender or some prenatal exposure to alcohol, tobacco or other drugs matter to you?  Infants and children from all backgrounds are placed for adoption so be prepared to answer that question honestly. The more open you are to different races and “risk”, the greater your chances for placement.

As published in the May edition of the Dripping Springs Outlook

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