Divorce is Scary.. but it doesn't have to be

Everyone shudders at the mention of the word “divorce”.  It’s the stuff nightmares are made of, especially for those of who have invested a lot of years and sacrifice into a marriage, and perhaps raised children together. We all know and love the infamous scene in War of the Roses when Kathleen Turner in a monster truck squares off against Michael Douglas on the front lawn of their house. Divorce doesn’t have to be that way. It can be amicable if both utilize the discipline to look at the bigger picture. 

When divorces are adversarial, usually the only ones that benefit are the lawyers. An amicable divorce requires a mindset that focuses on the big picture - getting divorced with the least amount of collateral damage.  Yes, there is give-and-take, but it affords a bigger bank account, and helps keep co-parenting relationships intact. It is a willingness to put aside your differences and prioritize your peace of mind and your children’s best interests above your own needs for payback. 

An amicable divorce is not easy, but the burden can be eased if you seek the assistance of professionals who can help keep you remove emotion from decision making and maintain focus on the bigger picture:

• Hire an experienced attorney who handles family law matters exclusively.  This is critical for those who have minor children as well as property. Cases involving children are never simple. You need a lawyer who is a skilled negotiator who can lay out a plan and prepare you for the road ahead.

• Gather as much financial information as you can and consult with a financial advisor to help you plan for separating your finances and prepare you for settlement negotiations

• Seek individual therapy immediately so that you and your counselor can work out a plan to keep you focused on a divorce with the least amount of collateral damage or impact to your children.

The above professionals will not solve all the problems inherent in a divorce matter but they can keep down the costs of litigation and help you look forward.